How to Help A Family Member with Addiction

Helping And Supporting A Loved One With Alcohol or Substance Use Disorder

It is hard to know how to help a family member with addiction. You want more than anything to help them get healthy, but you don’t want to make things worse by approaching this matter in the wrong way.

But how do you go about helping with their physical and mental health successfully? We’ll dive into that topic below.

If you have a loved one dealing with drug or alcohol use problems, getting them into a treatment program as soon as possible is the best possible outcome. By entering a facility like Purpose Healing Center, your loved one will suddenly have access to the tools that are needed to confront drug and alcohol use and enter recovery.

It won’t be an easy journey, to be sure, but our team is experienced with the recovery process and will craft a detailed and customized treatment plan. Reach out to us directly today to learn more.

Seeing Addiction Through a Compassionate Lens

Shifting how you view the problem of addiction is an important first step. Addiction is not a character flaw. It’s not a moral failing or just a series of bad choices. This is a progressive medical condition that is rooted in changes within the brain.

The changes that occur during addiction can impact crucial functions like behavior, impulse control, and emotional regulation.

This reframing is important because it can take the anger and judgment out of the situation. You’ll no longer feel so frustrated with the loved one that you are trying to help get away from alcohol or drug use.

Finding this healthy mindset will allow you to provide practical support and organize family and friends to help with everyone on the same page and working toward the same goal of lasting recovery.

How Can You Recognize the Signs of Addiction in a Loved One?

Once you have a balanced, healthy perspective of what addiction is and how it works, you can move on to looking for specific signs. If you have never dealt with drug abuse issues, you might not know what to watch for at first. The list below will explain some of the possible signs exhibited by people struggling in this way.

Common Behavioral Signs

Withdrawing noticeably from family and friends is one of the common behavioral signs of addiction. Someone who has drug or alcohol problems may stop spending as much time around loved ones, and when asked about it, they might lie or quickly get defensive.

Other worrisome signs include mood swings or ongoing irritability, neglecting important responsibilities, and a pattern of broken promises.

Common Physical Signs

There are also plenty of physical signs that can point to a person struggling with addiction, including the 3 C’s of addiction: compulsion or cravings, control, and negative consequences. Significant changes in appetite or sleeping patterns are big ones to watch for. Also, you might notice red or glazed eyes, unexplained changes in weight, and poor overall hygiene.

Generally, if something changes dramatically from a physical perspective without any other obvious cause, you should at least consider the possibility that addiction is to blame.

Common Life Consequences

It’s hard to hold life together successfully when addicted to drugs or alcohol. Destructive behaviors are common, and serious consequences generally follow soon after. For instance, work performance issues could start to occur, which can lead to the need for financial support.

Legal troubles might start to pop up, especially if someone is using illegal drugs or is having to resort to criminal activity to get money for drugs.

Why Family Support is So Critical in Facing Addiction?

People with an addiction problem are often in denial. Even with family and friends affected by their addiction, they’ll insist they don’t have a problem and will refuse to receive treatment. Often, it is finally the voice of a family member that is able to break through the noise and be a turning point.

In the middle of an addiction, people feel isolated. They can feel like no one cares about them any longer, and they may feel ashamed of their actions. This can be true even if the entire family still loves and supports them.

By speaking up and directly expressing your care and love, you can make a huge difference. Sometimes, it’s just one person who decided to offer support that will wind up making all the difference.

How to Approach Your Loved One About Their Addiction

Getting this conversation started is likely going to be the hardest part of the whole process for you. You might feel like you are crossing healthy boundaries by talking about addiction, but you know that it is coming from a place of love. Use the points below to guide the process and hopefully put your nerves to rest.

Choose the Right Time and Setting

This is where it all starts. If you don’t have a good time and place to talk about this serious matter, it will be far less likely to be effective. Make it a goal to find a time when your loved one is sober and calm, and not distracted by anything else. Also, it should be a private place so you can speak openly while maintaining confidentiality.

Use “I” Statements, Not Blame

Don’t start the conversation by using the word “you” too aggressively. This will come across like blame, or an attack, even if you don’t mean it that way. Instead, you should focus the words you select on yourself.

Say things like “I’m worried about you”, or “I’ve noticed some changes in you”. That might seem like a subtle difference, but it is actually a huge shift. When you talk this way, you’ll sound like a concerned family member, rather than someone who is on the attack.

Be Honest About What You’ve Observed

This is not the time for generalizations. You want to be very specific with what you have seen happening in the life of your loved one. Don’t exaggerate or put a label on anything. Just call out their behavior for what it is, and explain calmly and patiently what you have noticed happening and why you are worried.

Also, avoid comparing this person’s situation to anyone else. They are unique and should be dealt with on their own terms, not lumped in with others.

Offer Solutions, Not Ultimatums

You should also avoid coming into this conversation ready to make immediate threats. You don’t want to tell them they have to stop using immediately or you will take some dramatic steps to reach that outcome.

Be more helpful and soft, as this is usually what leads to positive change. There might come a time later for ultimatums, but don’t start there, especially with young people.

Avoiding Enabling Behaviors That Often Come With a Loved One’s Addiction

This is where we have to highlight the value of tough love in this type of situation. As a family member who wants the best for your loved one, you may be tempted to do things that seem nice. For instance, you might offer to pay some bills, or you might find yourself making excuses for them with others. These actions feel good in the moment but they can be a major hurdle to long term recovery.

Instead, you need to be setting boundaries and making it clear what you will and won’t do in this situation. For example, you can tell your loved one that you are always available to talk and be emotionally supportive, but you aren’t going to be paying any bills (because you know where the money is going).

Or, you can say that you aren’t going to lie to others to cover up the situation. Setting these boundaries is good and can eventually be a step toward healing.

Encouraging Professional Help

At some point, this is where you want the process to go. Getting help from a therapist or facility that uses evidence based treatments to provide care to those with addictions is the best outcome you could achieve.

Of course, recovery is still not guaranteed at this point, but your loved one will be in the right hands and will have the opportunity to get life turned in a new direction.

You can encourage a treatment program simply by talking positively about the idea and helping to make it happen. You can go with them on a tour of a rehab facility, or you might share some basic information about what detox and inpatient care can do for those with addiction struggles.

Renewed Purpose and Family Support Can Make All the Difference

You are doing a wonderful thing by spending time and effort thinking about the addiction battle that your loved one is fighting. Your meaningful support could easily make the difference and be the reason that they eventually sustain lasting addiction recovery.

When they are ready to seek treatment, Purpose Healing Center is here to help. Our facilities offer dedicated medical detox support, and accept nearly all forms of AHCCCS, as well as most private insurances, in-network.

Our caring Admissions team answers the phone at any time of the day or night (please leave a message if we are helping others), and we offer many different treatment options to make sure we can serve every person placed in our care. We hope to hear from you or your loved one today to get started. All calls are confidential, so please reach out to get support options now.