Codependency And Alcoholism
Breaking Free Together: Understanding Codependency and Alcoholism for Lasting Recovery
The Relationship Between Alcohol And Codependent Relationships
There is no doubt that codependency and alcoholism are a powerful, and damaging, combination. When working in tandem, this pairing can damage virtually every part of life, and it can feel nearly impossible to break out of the cycle.
On this page, we’d like to take a closer look at how alcohol use disorder and a codependent relationship can be related. Alcohol addiction and other unhealthy behaviors will sometimes stem from being with a codependent person.
Or, existing addictive behaviors may be worsened in this situation. Either way, it’s important to understand how these dynamics work in order to hopefully break the toxic cycle sooner rather than later.
Keep reading our resource to learn more about both conditions. And remember, if you are seeking professional help for your substance abuse challenges occurring alongside codependency, or looking to get help for a loved one struggling with these challenges, you can reach out to Purpose Healing Center confidentially at any time.
What is the Meaning of the Term Codependency?
The term “codependency” is thrown around regularly when talking about relationships, but not everyone knows what it means or what it looks like. In simple terms, codependency is a behavioral condition where one person in a relationship is excessively reliant on the other.
That person ties their sense of self esteem to the other, and is always looking to them for approval and identity. Often, the relationship has one person who is in the role of caretaker or enabler.
One of the signs of a codependent relationship is the constant need to please the other partner. It’s natural to want to make your partner happy and to care for them, but this can go too far. When the motivation is low self esteem or other mental health disorders, rather than a genuine desire to please the other, it might be an unhealthy attachment.
There may also be a fear of abandonment that comes along with this kind of unhealthy relationship. The person struggling with low self respect might feel like they have a personality flaw or some other issue that is going to cause their partner to leave at some point.
Whether these patterns form over time or stem from family dynamics in the past, codependency can be a learned behavior that is difficult to break.
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How Alcoholism Fuels Codependent Dynamics
An alcohol use disorder tends to make codependency much worse. When one partner in the relationship struggles with alcoholism, it’s often the other partner who feels like they need to “fix” or “save” them. Again, this type of behavior can stem from positive intentions. There is love between the two people, and one partner wants to help the other.
Unfortunately, this leads that partner to neglect their own health and lose track of a healthy relationship in order to form one that is codependent and dysfunctional.
While each relationship is unique, here are a few ways that alcoholism can make codependency worse.
Enabling Behavior
A type of support referred to as enabling is one of the big issues with alcoholism in a codependent relationship. Often, the codependent partner will become an enabler for the individual struggling with alcohol use disorder. They might call in sick to work for them, or regularly be making excuses to family and friends.
Basically, everything that is going wrong related to alcohol will be a mess that is cleaned up and covered up by the other partner. Family members may see what is going on, but the substance use will continue because the codependent partner stands in the way of meaningful change.
Emotional Rollercoasters
A drinking problem tends to bring along with it dramatic swings in mood. Sometimes, everything will be fine, even while alcohol use is going on – while at other times, there will be emotional distance and even aggression.
It’s also possible that the alcohol use disorder will lead to problems like financial struggles and other issues that cause emotions to swing up and down without warning.
Loss of Self
It’s hard for the codependent partner to maintain a clear sense of who they are when all of their coping skills and emotional energy are pointed toward enabling their partner.
Holding onto a healthy level of well being is hard to achieve when you feel trapped and are always worried about others opinions of your spouse and your relationship as a whole.
Is Codependency a Root Cause or Side Effect?
The relationship between alcohol use disorder and codependency can work either way. In other words, a relationship might start out with alcoholism already in place for one of the partners, or that issue might develop over time, after the relationship already exists. If the alcoholism starts later, it doesn’t cause codependency, but it does feed into it.
If a relationship already has codependency in place without alcoholism, adding the issue of substance abuse will only make things worse. The codependent partner will struggle to set boundaries and will quickly start to enable their partner’s poor behavior.
Of course, having an enabling force in place will only further the alcohol use disorder issue, so the problem can just continue to get worse without anyone stepping in to provide professional health for this family disease.
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Why This Cycle is So Hard to Break
A self-reinforcing loop is often created when these kinds of relationships exist in the presence of alcoholism. As the alcoholism gets worse, the codependent partner feels a stronger and stronger urge to “save” or protect their partner. That will give the person with a drinking problem less motivation to seek help or change their behavior. So, they start to drink even more, and the cycle continues.
Sadly, both partners suffer in this scenario. The individual struggling with alcohol use disorder experiences physical and mental health decline, and may run into many different problems like job loss, legal issues, and more.
At the same time, the codependent partner will face ongoing stress, may deal with anxiety and depression, and could even become a victim of emotional or physical abuse. There is little hope for codependent people to break out of this pattern on their own without the intervention of experienced and trained professionals.
Watch for These Signs of Being in a Codependent Relationship
If you suspect that you might be a codependent partner who is enabling your significant other’s alcoholism, there are a few signs you can watch for.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them honestly –
- Do I constantly feel responsible for my partner’s happiness or sobriety?
- Have I stopped focusing on my own goals and well being?
- Do I regularly make excuses for my partner’s drinking or cover up the consequences?
- Do I feel anxious, guilty, or ashamed when I think about setting boundaries?
- Have others expressed concern about our relationship dynamic?
It might not be easy to go through this exercise while answering the questions honestly. Do your best to see the situation for what it is and realize that help is available, if needed.
What Treatment for Codependency and Alcohol Abuse Looks Like
Making the decision to seek help in this situation is one of the best things you can do. Getting help is not only a choice that will benefit you, but it will also help your partner, as well.
Working with Purpose Healing Center will allow you to receive customized treatment that aligns perfectly with the dynamics that have developed in your relationship over the years.
Individual Therapy
Individual, one-on-one counseling is one of the big keys in the treatment process. Both the individual dealing with alcohol use disorder and the codependent partner can benefit from having individual therapy sessions, apart from one another.
These sessions will help the individuals understand their behavior and how it impacts the other person. Making this individual work a top priority can help the relationship grow stronger in the long run.
Group Therapy
There is tremendous power to be found in group therapy. Support groups are an excellent way for anyone to realize they aren’t alone and that many other people are going through the same struggles.
The usefulness of group therapy for individuals with alcoholism is well known, but these tools can be just as helpful for codependent partners who need to have a supportive space to heal and grow.
Being in this kind of relationship can be a lonely journey but it won’t feel so alone once you are surrounded by other people who have a shared experience.
Family Therapy
When both partners are willing to participate, family therapy can be extremely helpful. These are sessions that are designed for open and honest communication between partners.
Working with a trained facilitator who will keep the conversation on track and pointed in a healthy direction makes sure that each session is a meaningful, beneficial process for all involved.
Confront Alcohol and Codependency With Our Support Today
Acknowledging that you have a problem with alcohol is a difficult hurdle to clear. It can be even harder to admit that a codependent partner may be part of the issue. We know this is a difficult situation by seeking treatment from a licensed and accredited facility is a meaningful first step toward healing.
At Purpose Healing Center, you will be in good hands from the moment you step inside our treatment facility. The pattern of destructive behavior that has marked your life in recent years can finally be broken through the use of a carefully designed treatment plan.
We will help you break free of addiction by putting your own needs first and focusing on the factors that led you to abuse alcohol in the first place. We look forward to receiving your confidential call.
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