Your Guide to Completing the AA Step 8 Worksheet
Using a Step 8 Worksheet can help AA members work through the very challenging direct amends process. In the 8th step, the AA participant makes a comprehensive list of any person to whom they caused harm during active addiction. This step takes a tremendous amount of self-reflection, honesty, and courage.
But remember, as an active member of AA, you have been on this journey of personal growth for some time now, and are ready to enter this next phase!
Purpose Healing Center has had the joyful privilege of witnessing clients making progress in recovery. At our Joint Commission-accredited recovery facility, we believe where you’re coming from is far less important than where you’re going. Making direct amends allows you to leave those past actions behind you and look to a brighter future.
Are you ready and willing to make amends? We invite you to download free guide, The AA Step 8 Worksheet, to support genuine healing.
Alcoholics Anonymous 8th Step – Making Direct Amends Process
Alcoholics Anonymous provides people recovering from alcohol addiction a twelve step path to turning their lives around. In Step 8, the AA program challenges members to focus on listing names and making direct amends to any person they had harmed during active addiction.
Step 8 requires two separate actions to complete. In one part, AA members make the list of persons harmed. Secondly, they must becoming willing to repair the damage.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends
The exact language of Step 8 in the AA Big Book, the program’s most authoritative guide, is as follows:
“We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends.”
To give some context, members have taken a moral inventory in Step 4 and later asked the Higher Power to remove any shortcomings, becoming humble and willing to release identified character defects. The internal work of Step 7 has already laid the groundwork for the 8th Step. You’ve got this!
Helpful Tips for Step 8 from the Personal Experiences of Our Staff
Here are some hints for making a thorough list and preparing to make genuine amends while working through the 12 steps:
- Understand the difference between amends or an apology. Apologizing means an expression of regret or sorrow. Amends means taking direct action to repair the harm when possible.
- Make your list. Who do you owe amends to? Write down the name of anyone you identify as having harmed and consider how you might address them to fix things.
- Get ready to be honest and specific, showing genuine remorse. AA does not allow you to express self-pity or self-blame. It’s time to own up and let it go, which is freeing and healing.
- Accept full responsibility for the actions. There is no room for excuses or justifications for the addictive behavior.
- Prepare for rejection, as some people may not be ready to hear from you when you offer amends. Be ready to respect their space and decisions if they do not forgive you.
- Consider if your amends will cause further harm. The point of this exercise is to make progress in the program, not cause additional harm to the other person.
- Understand that amends aren’t always one-time actions. In some cases, the amends process means making lifelong changes. For instance, you can pay someone back money you stole – that’s only making partial amends. You will still need to prove yourself trustworthy and dependable in the future.
- Pray to your Higher Power for guidance if you are stuck. In earlier steps, you have acknowledged the Higher Power, surrendered your will, and asked for their guidance.
Thinking of the personal relationships you’ve harmed during addiction can feel awkward and uncomfortable, even if you’re willing to continue moving forward toward sobriety.
However, those who may still feel unwilling to be held accountable should speak to their AA sponsor and/or bring this up as a meeting topic for open discussions to get additional help.
Our Free Guide: AA Step 8 Worksheet
Our 8th step worksheet has three key sections with space to write and acknowledge your understanding of the step, a section to make a list of those you’ve hurt, and a short prayer to recite when you recognize the need for help from your Higher Power.
Keep reading as we guide you through examples to help you start making amends.
As you follow along, you’ll meet Ed, who is working on the 12 steps and completing his AA step 8 worksheet.
Section One: Reflect on Willingness to Make Amends
The first section of our worksheet asks you to pause for a brief moment, consider your readiness to move forward, and become willing to make amends.
Reflection 1: What does harm mean to you?
This question helps the AA member define harm. Is it self-harm that hurt a loved one, physical or emotional pain that caused harm? Setting this definition gives you the self-guidance needed for taking action throughout Step 8.
Ed’s response: Harm is when my actions or neglect have hurt someone physically/emotionally. It might also have cost them money.
Reflection 2: How does making amends differ from an apology?
You cannot fully experience the Step 8 recovery process without understanding the difference between the words of an apology and the willingness it takes to accept full accountability for the addictive behavior.
Ed’s response: In an apology, I just say I’m sorry. But amends will mean I’m taking action to fix the damage I caused.
Reflection 3: What fears do you have about Step 8?
As you write this answer, be honest about your fears or reservations about completing Step 8. When you identify your concerns, you can plan to conquer them and show a fresh willingness to make amends.
Need help? Turn to your AA sponsor or Higher Power to ask for help.
Ed’s response: I’m afraid people won’t forgive me or accept that I’ve changed.
Reflection 4: If not yet willing, what’s holding you back from making amends?
This question lets you reflect on anything – other than fear – stopping you from taking responsibility for past behavior. Acknowledge any possible setbacks now to you can move on in recovery.
Ed’s response: Mostly shame for my behavior. I don’t know how I’ll face them.
Reflection 5: Are there any amends that might cause more harm than good?
An exception to making amends is if it would actually harm the person to do so. An example could be past actions during a break up, where the person has started a brand new life and has started a family who could be hurt by dredging up the past.
Ed’s response: Yes, telling my friend’s wife that I lied to cover up a mistake her husband made. It would probably hurt their marriage, which they’ve patched up.
Section Two: You Owe Amends in Personal Relationships
The next section of the Step 8 worksheet is making a thorough list of people hurt by your past behavior and the nature of the harm. This helps you decide how to make amends to the person in a future step.
Column 1 – Name of Person Harmed
In the first column, list those in your life your addiction has hurt. These could be workplace or personal relationships.
Column 2 – Describe the Harm and Your Role in It
Healing means holding yourself accountable for strained or broken relationships without self-pity or making excuses. The AA recovery journey, as stated in the Big Book, requires applying your newfound knowledge to your sober life. You don’t need to write a full statement here, just a quick note will serve as a reminder.
Section Three: Asking Your Higher Power for Help
Completing the 12 steps means turning your life and will over to your Higher Power. Although your sponsor can be a great resource, God holds ultimate authority over your life.
This short prayer, different from the AA prayer for the sick man, is based on AA’s famous Serenity Prayer, can be a powerful way to ask Him for help powering through the 12 steps:
Higher Power, grant me the courage to face the harm I have caused, the wisdom to know HOW to make things right, and the strength to make appropriate amends. -Purpose Healing Center
Recite this prayer if you feel “stuck” on Step 8, and allow the Higher Power to guide you.
Contact Purpose for Professional Alcohol Recovery Support
Our professional, compassionate team urges clients to follow the 12-step program after leaving treatment. It helps build new, positive relationships and inspires sobriety-supporting habits. But what about the person who has tried AA without first receiving professional support?
Some people can recover using AA alone. But the most complex or long-term alcohol use disorders almost always require professional treatment. If you’ve tried Alcoholics Anonymous but have not found success, you need more than a sponsor – you need professional, compassionate care.
Purpose Healing Center can provide support and healing at two locations, Phoenix and Scottsdale. We make care affordable by accepting most major group health plans and AHCCCS coverage.
Call us today to learn how you can start the recovery process, all calls are confidential so please reach out today.
480-579-3319